During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled.
A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "Fuck you!".
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."
***
A little girl runs out to the garden where her father is wedding and asks him "Daddy, what's sex?".
So, her father sits her down, and tells her about the flowers and the bees. And then about contraception, sexual intercourse, sperm, eggs etc.. He tells her about puberty, menstruation, erections, wet-dreams. And then he thinks, what the hell, and goes on to tell her the works. He describes masturbation, anal and oral sex... gets carried away... group sex, pornography, bondage, discipline, rape, pedophilia, bestiality, sex toys... The little girl is somewhat awestruck with this sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge, and her father finally asks "So, why did you want to know about sex for?".
Oh, mummy said lunch would be ready in a couple of secs".